There are voices I hear. There are moments I see. Some are forgettable, some are scary.
I won’t die that easily is one of them. I want to die is another. This world of delusion I made, is starting to be a bother. It’s influencing my day to day life, It’s getting harder and harder to grow any further. My weak side is getting the better of me, I’m starting to procrastinate for longer.
One side of me is normal. One side of me is a trash. One side of me is lazy. One side of me is harsh.
One side of me is delegate. One side of me is wise. One side of me is incompetent. One side of me wants to fight. One side of me is harmful. One side of me protects. One side of me is burning with rage. One side of me reflects. One side of me is pathetic. One side of me is a coward. One side of me is filled with empathy. One side of me has some power. One side of me meditates. One side of me procrastinates. One side of me is filled with hate. One side of me just wants to mate. One side of me daydreams. One side of me hyper-focus. One side of me wants to scream. One side of me reassure others. One side of me is reliable. One side of me is sane. One side of me is scholar. One side of me is in pain. One side of me wishes to cry. One side of me is glad to be alive. One side of me is hopeful. One side of me wishes to die.
All these are confusing me. As I could feel all of them are genuine. I am all of them. They are my loyal minions. But I wish I could be free now. I do not wish for any of them to come looking at me. I wish to flee now. Somewhere far away, beyond the sea. I wish to be one with the clouds. I wish to be vast yet free. I wish to be admired by those, who look up to me.
So, hey. I need help. Yes.
I am confused. Alot nowadays.
As I no longer differentiate between good and evil, heaven and hell.
I’m reaching a point of no return, in this stage.
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